Methadone
Treatment For Addiction
A Light at the end of the tunnel.
My Story
I first got on the methadone clinic in 2002. I never
stopped using other drugs even though I had all the resources
available to me. I used Xanax daily and smoked pot. I
never wanted to stop being high. There were several days
I could not even dose because the staff knew I was messed
up at 6 am in the morning. Of course, my being in the
clinic that time did not last.
I hit a very low point in my life next. My divorce fueled
my desire to be high. My daughter was no longer in my
life to hold me back either. I did anything I could do
to get pain pills, Xanax, and to be honest, just anything
I could get. I got worse as time went by. I lost my home,
car, destroyed my good credit, and started using a needle.
What family I did have became a distance memory. Then
something unexpected happened; I became pregnant.
Now I may be a drug addict but I do respect the fact
that a child deserves a fair shot at life. They cannot
get that from a pregnant, high mother so I moved away
from everyone I knew. That worked for a while but old
habits die hard.
I spent the next few years doing lortabs and other “weaker” pain
pills, telling myself it was better for me. It was
not any better. Between the acetaminophen and contaminated
water, I ended up with over 40 perforations (or holes)
in my stomach alone. After spending time in the hospital,
I returned to Alabama. I knew I did not want to continue
to use. I had another chance with my second daughter
at life. I was using methadone off the street at this
point in time but I really wanted to be totally clean
from the other substances.
I returned to the clinic in November 2006. This time
something had changed. I want to be clean both for myself
and my daughter. I started going to groups and talking
with my counselor. I applied what I was learning in my
groups to my life. I actually tried to make it work this
time. I told myself that I would move up in phase every
90 days and that was one thing I never got before was
a take home. That is just what I did too. I learned how
to deal with myself and others. And I moved up in phase
every 90 days.
I am so proud of myself now. My life is so much better
now that I take part in it. Even though I had all the
resources available earlier in my life, I was not ready
to use them. The very first step in moving forward
is wanting to. I believe no one can stop using without
that. This is a great program and I wish more people
could understand that. So many people turn away from
this type of help because others think it is so negative,
trading one drug for another. I do not live like I
once did and neither does my family. I am learning
how to feel more normal and it’s great.
A Phase 5 client at Walker Recovery Center